害怕，失去！

你知道吗？有时候我们害怕太多东西。

害怕失去，害怕拥有，害怕寂寞，害怕难过，害怕面对，害怕空洞，害怕激情，害怕太过，害怕不够，害怕失落。。。

朋友分手后对我说，之前两人去过的地方，走过的路，听过的歌，看过的戏，见过的人，喜欢的东西，到过的餐馆，甚至穿过的衣，开过的橱。。。都不敢回首。

真的，我了解那份情绪，也曾稀许感受过，但是，走了一段路，活开了。。发现，人走了，我们不能怕自己难过而故意避开，应该要试试逼自己去想念他，面对他，才不会把他忘掉。

痛，改变不了曾经拥有。狠，哪又何苦？

放开心怀，释放自己，天空还是片蓝天。

害怕，失去。。害怕会失去更多的。

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

436pm saturday afternoon

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数日子

世上有两种人会每天数日子。

过着煎熬日子的人，数着好日子的到来。

正在热恋的人，数着自己过了多少快乐的日子。

1 week anniversary, 2 month 3 days anniversary, 28monthary (有些还会发明词汇呢!) , 2 year-anniversary ...

其实有时一边快乐的数着，另一半可能在痛苦的倒数着。
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1124pm

1124pm, I am here lying on my bed typing this. I am very exhausted, and I don't know why I am feeling so tired.

Have you experienced this before? You in the state that you do not know why, nothing bad, nothing good, nothing just nothing and you are feeling what you are feeling. Sad, happy, whatever .. And today I am in this state of my mind. Nothing but just exhausted.

Feeling nothing.

1124pm, while I am lying on my bed feeling nothing but exhausted, what are you doing?
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

＜＜荒人手记＞＞

我正在阅读这本书。。

这是一份生日礼物。

把他递给我的那位朋友这么说："我没有勇气读这本书，希望你会喜欢！"

就单单她这一句话，已足够让我想马上把它读一遍。

但奇怪的是，这是一本女作家写的男同志小说。不止这样，还是台湾第一届时报文学小说大奖首奖作品，还为作者朱天文争取到一百万奖金。

等了一星期，终于开始翻阅了。。


Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

说写想。

Finally I got the mobile email update option set up, this means I can add content of the blog through my blackberry anytime I want to, anywhere I go, and especially anytime I feel like writing.

This is going to be very interesting. I can now pen more of those I write in my diary here.

终于，可以通过手机上载文章。很久以前我就想这么做了. 真的还有点顾虑的，把太多的想法和这么多人分享，是否妥当。

但，想必喜欢这个部落格的朋友，会有宽容的心去接受很多东西。我应该放心的。

不管怎样，我很期待有这个空间，说说，写写，想想的。

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A Mail from Andruew

I found Andruew's email when I was about to turn in yesterday night, this future wrestler will go very far from the way he works and how he has achieved greatly in the sports he undertakes ... my pleasure to have worked with this fine, cool, brilliant guy...


There are so many emotions that fill me as I type this email to you. As you know, 12th September marks the end of my NUM life. It has been a fantastic and wonderful journey working in Newurbanmale.com. In this One Year Eight months long journey, I have treated this more than a job where a employee just want to clock in hours and get as much pay roll as one can. It has become a lifestyle, where single day when I work, I would look forward to it. The term looking forward would mean in terms of generating the best sales for my store, my personal target and of course for the company. I have always treated Main as a second home to me, where I always emphasize I have spent more time in there then my own home. The boys in Main, are like brothers that I have never had, we had our share of fun, share the burden of troubles and scolding as well. The bond I have with is something that words cannot be described.

Being a single child, I do not understand what brotherhood is like until now. I would like to thank you for everything that you have helped me in this whole journey, there was not a day where regretted being part of newurbanmale.com. As I know that the things I have imparted from this company could definitely help me to my life successes. I could still remember my first interview and I told you that I aspire to be a professional wrestler in the WWE. Any director of any company would just laugh it away and think that I am a joke, however you did not, instead you motivated me to work hard so that I can relieve my boyhood dream. From that moment I knew that I was not working for any director of a successful company. I was working for a director that actually does care about the welfare of his staff. During the times where we had our night runs, you would reflect and share with me what you felt about life. It has taught me valuable lessons that money can't buy. I can vouch that no other director in any company will spend so much time with his employees just to understand them better. You have being a listening ear my problems and I really appreciate that you would even listen to my problems, and even give solutions to them. Shenzi, you are truly a role model in my life, being able to be so successful in the industry in Singapore, being able to come up with innovative ideas to beat other competitors. I have learnt to be more responsible in my life, when you gave me the responsibility of being a store in charge of Main. Having to be in charge of Heeren Main, one of the pioneer stores of NewUrbanMale.ocm was such an honor. I was given the responsibility of looking after the boys of Main which was not the easy task initially. I have live by my creed to "Lead By Example". That is something the boys all know, everyday I emphasize the importance of sales, which is something I am so passionate about. When we do good sales, we would have our fun in the store. Something that you have taught us, that is work hard and play hard.

I feel so emotional that I have to leave this great company to serve the nation. I have always believed that this company will be capable for greatness, I have never once doubted. I would like to assure you that I have not leave with the thought of greener pasture. But have left to complete my national service. I am loyal to this company and will always stay that way. I would hope that can once again work with you towards your vision. You have taught me to be contented with life and I am contented with everything you had offered me. Once again thank you for this wonderful journey. I wish you the best for you and your company.

from Andruew

<<再见>>

我惊然发觉GOOD BYE和<<再见>>是不一样的。
当一个你怀念的人将要离开你的时候，
你希望看得到未来的。
你要的是可以重温的记忆，再一次相处的机会，你希望那个人不要走，你想再见到他的。
所以说GOOD BYE没办法道出这情怀。
但<<再见>>完全透露了这个情绪。
I AM NOT GOING TO SAY GOODBYE，我说<<再见>>。